I did try to generate a submissive BDSM experience with a few partners. It didn’t really work. I chalk this up to the fact that I am a dominant personality. I think it was too difficult to take what was otherwise at best an equal relationship and at worst one where I dominated, and turn it into a sexually submissive relationship.
Eventually I will be interested in trying out the dominant side of a BDSM experience but I think the submissive experience is more of a stretch for me at the moment. I also think that in order to be a good Domme, I should know what it is like to be the sub.
These conclusions led me to look for a BDSM relationship outside of my vanilla relationship. Leave the two separate. One is for companionship and family life. The other is for sexuality, exploration and deviant stimulation.
The first person I met for an intentional BDSM encounter was an older man (yes, I have a thing for the Daddy complex) in his late 50’s, father, husband, pillar of the community type man. Looked very nice in a suit.
He had the atmosphere down, drinks at a quiet bar, pre-ordered a wine he knew I would like, nice car with the radio tuned to the classical station, already had a reasonably nice hotel room booked. I like a man with a plan. I love not having to worry about the details.
Things looked promising to this point. When we got to the hotel he had me undress and then proceeded to go through a very long checklist which I was to rate as acts I would enjoy, do, was uncomfortable with or were a hard limit. I guess this is where his plan ran out. The next step in his plan was to have sex with me (which I had agreed to), but the only BDSM element included was some nipple clamps. To dash my hopes further he had some hydraulics failures.
All I can say my dear older men, is there is no shame in pharmaceutical aids. It is difficult (to say the least) to dredge up sexual obedience for a Dom who cannot command his own body to obey.
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