The psychology and emotional aspect of D/s has always been most interesting to me. I want to be on an emotional roller coaster during play and discipline, where play and discipline stir very different feelings.
I want to always be scared of punishments when failing assignments, breaking rules or forgetting chores. At the same time, I need to feel the love when someone cares enough to discipline me. For me, punishment is a tool to achieve goals (for example at work) and remain a healthy household (chores) and D/s relationship (rules). I also believe that for any punishment to be effective, it has to be so severe that I will not want to disappoint again. Corporal punishment is important, but worst is the feeling of having let someone down, at least myself. I think a serious talk or lecture is necessary before the physical punishment, and I believe forgiveness is important at the end.
These are some of the feelings I might have during discipline: embarrassed, ashamed, disappointed, nervous, scared and tearful.
Play is a very different experience for me. While I can feel scared, I hardly ever feel ashamed during play. The whole atmosphere is different and often enjoyable, and also at times quite fun. It also excites me to see my Dom happy and content. The purpose of play is also different from discipline, as play is primarily for my Dom’s pleasure. Needles to say, I like it too.
These are some of the feelings I might have during play: aroused, curious, playful and engaged.
Interrogations might be what I find most psychologically exciting (will She/He be able to make me feel stupid? will I manage to talk my way out of the situation? will I be able to come up with an argument which will make Her/Him look silly? will I be disciplined at the end of the interrogation?) . I am hugely into words (questions, instructions and commands). At the same time, silence can be quite thrilling as well. A balance would be highly desirable.
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